My Great Big Leap

Okay, let's see if I can focus on writing a coherent post.

Where to begin.... hmmm....

Well, I will just say it.

I quit my job.  I handed in my notice today.

ahhhhh!!!!

I don't think I can express how excited or nervous or anything that I am.

This is a huge leap for me. For us.  My little family.

I have had this rope tugging me for awhile now.  One end on my heart and the other firmly anchored at home... with the baby and the Mr.

I never fancied myself a SAHM.  But, when that little surprised face looked up at me nearly 3 years ago, everything changed.  I knew it.  This is where I was meant to be.

But, I went back to work.  Because we needed my income. We still do.

Everyone assured me it would get easier to leave my boy.

It hasn't. 

I have been extremely blessed to have a work at home husband (WAHH)

So, I have never had to leave baby hughes with strangers at a young age (not that there is anything wrong with that.)

And, I will be the first to admit, that while my husband is great... husband and father, I have been insanely jealous of him.  I hate missing anything.  I have always be acutely aware that I only get so much of the kid time before this  hyena grows up.  And, even though my hours at work are wonderful, I just hated knowing I was missing anything.   Like little firsts and big firsts.  I am still not convinced that I saw his first steps... just things like that.

So, after Mr. Hughes crunched and crunched some numbers, he told me that we could do it.  We just can't spend any money for the next 16 years.  I kid.  But it will be tight.  And so worth it. Have I mentioned that my hubs is self-employed?  And even though he has been for 10 years, my income just made me feel safe.  And I am scared.  I know that I can go out and get another job, but now that I have this nugget of goodness in my grasp, I just don't want to give it up.

I have prayed and prayed about this.  Mainly because I feel a little bit guilty.  My job and income have been such a blessing. I have been with this orthodontic practice for 6 years.  I work with some really great people... ones that I really hope to stay in touch with.  I don't think I could have a more flexible, wonderful boss or better hours.  And in this economy, people are losing their jobs right and left.  And here I am throwing a wonderful job away, even if my intentions are 100% noble.

But they aren't.

I would be lying if I didn't also have selfish reasons for doing this.  While I will be mainly focused on baby hughes and doing all the magical mommy things like potty training and cleaning toilets and remounting curtain rods that have been ripped out of the wall (no joke) I am aware that I will have more time for Vintage Junky.  And that I can help contribute money to our budget in doing something I adore.  I have felt so overwhelmed at times... like I just want to give up the business all together since I couldn't throw everything at it.  So, I am hoping that naptimes will allow me to work on my business a bit more.

I am also hoping that Mr. Hughes won't have to keep such crazy hours... let's face it.  I have a wild kid that makes a bit of noise.... okay.. a LOT of noise.  I am also hoping for a cleaner house.  That is a lot of hoping, isn't it?

I couldn't do all this without the amazing support from my friends and my family and coworkers.  I am like a sponge and feared telling anyone our tentative plans in case they had something negative to say... something I didn't want to hear.  I didn't want to second guess our decision or even hear a what if.  I only wanted to soak up the woohoos!  and Awesomes!  

So to sum up this very wordy post:

I Quit. Scared. Excited. Happy.

and isn't Happy the most important?

bye for now!

oh, and I purchased the sweet print here to celebrate our new path.